• waitress: i'm sorry we're all out of mozzarella sticks
  • waitress: sir please stop cyring

strifeandslash:

safe sex is for losers (takes off knee pads and helmet) 

(Source: twiabpaianlatfwnogf, via perks-of-being-chinese)

gentlemanbones:

Please add more unwarranted explosions to gifs. It’s my favorite.

gentlemanbones:

Please add more unwarranted explosions to gifs. It’s my favorite.

(via bewbin)

weirdteenblogger:

[opens pizza box] *snoop dogg voice* greetings loved ones

(Source: unfollowthisblogitisaspamblog, via winking)

"Once a fuckboy, always a fuckboy."

— Mother Teresa  (via sadgirl1017)

(Source: adotjam, via perks-of-being-chinese)

thecolorffooff:

who summon me

thecolorffooff:

who summon me

(Source: rampagedelite, via bewbin)

(Source: sprawd, via winking)

greathaircut:

love how kids introduce themselves like “hello im johnny im five years old i know how to read” yeah cool i didnt ask for your life story asshole

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

blastortoise:

Why would you intentionally eat olives like what in the fuck? are you okay? is someone forcing you to do this? You need me to call the police let me know so we can help you

(Source: blastortoise-chan, via perks-of-being-chinese)